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The Blind Spot

August 15th, 2022

Poem by Adrija Jana

Photograph by Maya Heins

The tears in my mother's eyes
The sound of her muffled cries
Every night
The blood on my sister's face
Her eyes swollen and blood red
Every time
The scars on my body, the pain in my heart
Every moment
My father's insults thrown at my mother, drunken punches that landed on her face
The heavy utensils that hit my sister and me
Every so often
We became outlets, vents- to him inanimate objects
Existing for his pleasure or to calm his anger
And I thought it was normal

I thought it was normal
All our neighbours heard our screams rending the still night
All our relatives knew what happened behind closed doors
But no one ever said anything
They looked away from us when the scars became visible
"You know how it is," they said amongst themselves
So every time his words speared my mother's soul
Every drop of blood that trickled down my sister's cheek
Lodged itself into my heart- Igniting the fire of pain, The storm of shame
But I thought it was all okay

And one day it passed to me- The Blind Spot
Pitch black. Blood red.
Clouding my eyes. My mind.
As we grew up, his anger turned on only mom
And my sister and I, we distanced ourselves
My sister burying herself under the blanket
Me digging the earphone deeper into my ear
Increasing the volume to a deafening level
All the while clutching a sharp steel scale in my hand
Watering the white pages with splotches of blood
As the glass breaks

And Her screams rent the air once more
It is normal. All normal.

All normal
Till one day I realised it was not
The day I stepped out of the circle of fear, into the the world outside
A world different from the one I had lived and grown up in
I knew then it was not normal

I knew I was deliberately deluded
Pitch Black, blood red, fades away
Blind Spot. Removed.
I stood up and looked him straight in the eyes, held my ground, my legs trembling
As my eyes told the story of the failure he had been- as a husband, as a father and to his family
We turned away from him
Leaving him to bear alone the stench of that hell- Never to look back
Blind Spot. Removed.

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